Ten Things You Don’t Need To Feel Guilty About
‘guilt is the thief of life’ Anthony Hopkins
Self-care and personal wellness means a whole host of things. It has become THE thing to do in the last few years, but since the COVID-19 pandemic and lockdown it means so much more.
Ostensibly, when we think of self care, of course we know it as being kind and nice to yourself. We associate it as switching off with work, having some downtime, spending time watching your favourite Netflix show, having a pamper night, going for a run, journalling, meditating, indulging in a big glass of wine and a yummy dessert on a Friday night because you really fancy it.
However, something that we forget about, and doesn’t come into play as often as it should is the aspect of being kind to yourself. This involves not feeling guilty about our choices. Guilt is extremely prominent in society at the moment. Guilty for not spending enough time with family members, guilty for working too hard, guilty for not spending enough time on ourselves, guilty for over doing it on social media, guilty for comparing yourself to others, and the real sucker… guilty for feeling guilty.
Don’t get me wrong, it is natural to feel guilty once in while, but there are some things you shouldn’t feel guilty for. Guilt hangs over us in a way which makes us feel sad, frustrated and stressed. It stops you living your life. There is enough pressure on us already as a culture and society, so whether it’s forgetting your lunch for work, having to distance yourself from a friend or family members or telling your parents you aren’t coming over for a social distanced BBQ, own the choices because they are yours. They are important to you, you decided them and try not to beat yourself up for them. Here are ten things that you do not need to feel guilty about… ever!
- Your imperfections — whether it’s one grey hair, a crooked nose or whatever you don’t like about yourself. It’s what makes you unique and special. You don’t need to feel guilty about being you!
- Removing someone from you life — of course, this is a hard one. But to cut someone out of your life who causes trouble, sadness or disappointment is not something to feel guilty about. Life is about filling your time and energy with people who are wonderful to be around. It’s a heart wrenching decision with a lot of emotions involved, but guilt shouldn’t be one of them
- Accepting a compliment — I know that this one is hard. But it doesn’t need to be. If you are given a compliment embrace it and believe it. The other person must’ve said it for a reason. Never feel guilty for being fab
- Standing up for yourself — don’t feel guilty for speaking up. You have an opinion like everyone else. Choose your words carefully and express yourself in a polite way … there is nothing wrong in that
- Not knowing the answer — it’s impossible to know the answer to everything. Nobody does. It’s normal to have gaps in our knowledge and to not know the answers. Use the opportunity to learn more
- Doing whats best for you — and no, this is not selfish. Sometimes you’ve got to look out for yourself
- Saying no — whatever the situation, if you don’t want to do it or feel uncomfortable with the scenario, listen to your gut and say no. It’s hard to turn things down, especially people. But sometimes you’ve just got to do it. You made the decision for you, and you know what you feel comfortable doing. Pay close attention to what your gut and brain are telling you
- Declining a social event — sometimes you just want to be by yourself, and that is perfectly ok. Often, we guilt ourselves into attending an event or feeling bad for letting someone down by not going. Enjoy what you want to do, even if that is saying no and opting to do something else. Don’t let the opinions of others rain on your parade
- Giving yourself a break and having time for yourself — who has been there when you’ve taken a day off, had a lie in or you may even be on holiday and you’re feeling guilty for being there? Don’t beat yourself up for having a little respite. You need it mentally, physically and spirutally. Your health and happiness come first and are key to a healthy lifestyle
- Feeling guilty — feeling guilty itself is something you shouldn’t feel guilty about! Guilt is a drain. It’s an energy and happiness sapper and like it says at the very top of this post, guilt is the ‘thief of life’
Next time it comes to you taking some time for yourself, of course a face mask, a nice meal, an exercise class or some R&R is great… but don’t neglect this kind of deep inner kindness. You deserve it!
